Letters, words, everything takes me back to you
by strngrmills
Summary: Snq drabbles, each drabble using a letter. Summary: AU since the scene of the Neverland Cave. Snow tells everyone her darkest secret, and it leads to a broken family, a confused queen, a difficult relationship... everything, of course, mixed with curses, witches, threaths... after all, they are fairytale characters, aren't they? SnowQueen
1. Letter A

**Hiii! So... I'm new writing in English and also writing Snowqueen, but... I just it! So i decided to write a collection of SnQ drabbles, each drabble using a word (A=arms) or a sentence using the first letter of the first sentence (Z=zelena is back). Probably it's going to be a bit OoC in some chapters, but I wanted to explore. So... any promp or whatever, or if you like the fic and want me to continiue it, leave a review or a message in my tumblr (missidunnocare). Hope y'all like it!**

 **ARMS**

Neverland was killing them; slowly, painfully. It all started when they were on the cave, and all of them had to tell their darkest secrets, or at least, something dark enough, shameful enough. And it made them angry, sad, just like the current state of Emma Swan. Angry, disappointed with her mother. Maybe it was because she admired the relationship of their parents, so pure, so… strong. And now, in the middle of the forest, searching for Henry, Snow just said she always loved Regina. And she said it in front of her father! Oh god…

"Why do you have to be so selfish?! You know what? The damn Evil Queen was completely right, you are a selfish little brat!" Emma shouted to her mother, Snow's eyes full of tears. She was utterly confused; she was angry because she liked a girl or because she wasn't as she expected?

"Well Emma, welcome to the real world. I'm not a fucking fairytale princess. You wanna know? I'll tell you: I have killed, used my body to earn something I wanted; I picked fights, I slept with girls. You're here because your father and I had sex. Yes Emma, sex. I may be a shy school teacher or a sweet princess, but I have my own desires. I was fucking while you were sucking your thumb, so don't be surprised I liked a sexy woman. I'm sorry if I'm not the perfect mother you dreamed of, but I am a human, not a plain character! AND I'M TIRED OF PLEASING EVERYONE!" Snow shouted at the top of her lungs. She just said she always loved her step mother and she felt relieved, but she also knew her marriage was broken, and that the relationship with her daughter would never be the same. Neverland was pointing out all of her flaws.

"Would you get tired of pleasing me?" Regina said playfully. She heard the shouts between the two idiotic princesses, and she decided to play a little bit. She just told everybody she tried to kill herself and she was a bit pissed with herself. Surely some teasing would help her.

"I'll leave you with your girlfriend" Emma said with a death glare.

"Regina, if you're trying to push my buttons, leave it. Please, I'm begging you, I'm not in the mood" the raven haired woman said, looking at the floor, defeated.

"Your arm is bleeding" the queen said, a finger pointing her arm. The damn forest, or jungle, or whatever it was, made a scratch and it looked deeper than it should be. The brunette approached her rival and ripped the sleeve of her shirt.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she saw Regina taking something from her pocket. "Ouch!" she cried when she felt the rum spilled over her wound.

"Don't be whiny" the shortest said calm, healing the other woman's wound.

"I didn't know you did rum" Snow smirked.

"I don't, but we need to fix this mess" Regina responded. She checked the rest of her arm and tore the other sleeve. "What? Now you look way better" Regina said. "Your arms deserved to be shown" she added with a mischievous smile.

"It hurts" the palest cried a bit.

"Better now?" she kissed the wound and a flash of purple invaded her eyes for an instant. However, it didn't scare her. It excited her.

"Licked it" she said with a husky tone. "Lick my wound" she clarified. And so she did. The mayor licked the scratch; it tasted like metallic alcohol and it had a bit of salt, probably because of the sweat and the dirt. She never thought she could be so… obedient, and less with her, but she didn't care. She liked the whole situation.

"I love your arms" the oldest whispered, and rosy lips met hers. It was just a touch, but she wanted more, much more. Oh, Neverland really was pointing out all of her flaws.


	2. Letter B

**hI! It's me, again! Well, first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW AND THE FOLLOWS! I couldn't send a PM to the user who left a review, so I'm telling you know, THAK YOU SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUUUUUUUUUCH! And two warning: One - there is going to be a chapter with Regina's thoughts about licking Snow's wound -insert pervert emoji- and two - (this is not a warning but whatever) I'm asking for help. Could someone please "sponsor" the fic? I'd love if the SnQ shipper read this because I know there isn't much of them as a couple, so I'd like if people read this because maybe they even like it!**

 **Another important thing: I'm going to update this with a break of more or less two days (weekends not included). Oh, and if you want to leave a prompt of anything, don't be shy and visit my tumblr: missidunnocare.**

 **And now, HAVE FUN!**

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 **BED CONFESSIONS**

She needed her bed. She wasn't eating properly, she felt dirty, but above everything, she needed her comfortable, smooth, warm bed.

Two slim but strong arms brought her to the reality. Snow, obviously. Her smell, vanilla and coconut, was so sick and sweet…

She sat down and Snow hugged her waist innocently, her head resting in her chest.

"I couldn't sleep" Snow declared, with a small voice, like she was a little scared girl again, searching for some comfort in the arms of the oldest. She was trying to be strong, but she knew she ruined her perfect marriage, and it was difficult to bear. A little secret spilled and her beautiful life was destroyed. Now she could totally understand Regina. "Now I can fully understand why you were so upset. My secret…" she let the sentence in the air.

"I wasn't his death what made me miserable. It was…" careful, she thought, Snow was too destroyed already, she did not need more pain. "…it was the feeling that a little mistake took away my freedom. I had the chance I always desired and suddenly, I was trapped. I was an object to show, I didn't belong there, yet I couldn't leave. I felt so lonely, so…"

"…stupid. Your life wasn't perfect, but you were happy. It wasn't actually the secret revealed, but the fact you didn't know what was next, if you could fix this or… not" Snow interrupted her only to continue herself the reflexion.

"I'm sorry, I truly am". That's all that the queen managed to say.

"I miss my flannel sheets, my pillows, my bed. My body hurts so badly… And I should be surprised, I slept in a lot of uncomfortable places, but I guess I got used to my Storybrooke life, without magic or potential dangers. So… free."

"You said you used your body to… get things" the witch said, nervous.

"Sometimes I needed a bed in a hostal, but I haven't any money. I realized that there were a lot of pretty girls who needed some relief. I wasn't a bad thing, don't worry, it's not like I felt forced to, I wasn't a hooker" she said looking at brown eyes, smiling. Snow missed so much the bed confessions with her step mother…

"I should have known better. After all, you insisted to help me with my dresses, even if it meant to see me naked… or almost naked" Regina said in a funny tone.

"It would be nice to go back to the bed confessions" the green eyed girl suggested.

"First, we need to fix a lot of things, later we can talk".

"Can I sleep with you?" Green eyes piercing into brown eyes. Face to face. They didn't want to label those feeling or put an end to that state of dreaming but they knew they had to, eventually. So they just slept together. The mayor tried herself to stop being so cold and the teacher promised herself she would make the flawless woman fall in love with her.


	3. Letter C

**CRYING**

She was crying. We rescued Henry, and now we were on the ship, happy, getting some rest. But she was crying. I was afraid, because I never saw Regina crying like this. Sure, I've seen her angry, mad… even sad, but never this sad. Tears were running free, her face wet. Neverland wasn't the cleanest place, or a place where you could bath and change your clothes, eat whatever you want, get yourself some comfort like in your house; and my dear Queen wasn't an exception, she was showing, like the rest of us, that this place wasn't as great and wonderful as every kid in the world thought.

First of all, her hair wasn't straight anymore. The dark curls came back, and her hair was getting longer and a bit brighter, I don't know why. Secondly, her face was without make, and jeez, her curls and her clean face made her look like she was seventeen again.

We were bathing in the rivers we found in our way, making shifts. I was truly tempted to see bathing, but then I realized that it was enough with invading her bed and making her lick my wound. Why the hell I told her to do it? And most important, why she did it?

As I was saying, she was crying, she didn't try to hide it. And seeing her so vulnerable made me sick. She was strong, beautiful, and brave; she didn't deserve to cry. I always knew there was a reason I had hope, faith, and that I always defended her because of something, but it wasn't until we all were in the cave that I didn't label those feeling; now it was clear to me, it was admiration for my personal savior, it was love. I never truly saw her as a mother; like a best friend, like a sister, but not like a mother, the age made it impossible for me, besides the fact for me there was only one mother, my mother.

Everybody was partying while she was crying, I see what type of heroes they were. I got closer to her, I put my arm on her shoulder, she realized I was there. I just wanted her to love me back, always, but now I realized I wanted her to love me back in a different way. She loved me like a daughter, but I loved her like something else. But wait, she loved me back then or was she just pretending? The mere thought made me sick. "What's wrong?" I asked her in a sweet, kind tone. Actually, I did not expect she answered, but she did, and my heart race.

"I feel like a lost girl again. It's hard, you cannot imagine how hard it is" her voice was breaking, and with it, my soul. "My mother never loved me, my father never fought for me, I had no friends. When I was young I used to escape my room in the middle of the night, I went to the forest, alone. And one day I disappeared, and when I finally found my way back home, all my mother yelled at me was that I should have never been born, that I was stupid. She didn't care ab-about me…" she completely broke. God, how could she say she was a bad mother? She had a terrible family, but oh, she became the perfect father and mother for Henry. She did it great, and that's difficult when you don't know how to be a parent.

I knew that back in Storybrooke there would be a lot of thing to fix, but right now I could not care less; I kissed her deeply, trying to chase away all of her fears. I didn't care if everybody, including her son, were watching, I continued to kiss her, and finally, I whispered "You're home now, you're safe". She wasn't crying anymore, and a weak smile appeared, suddenly the world was a better place. That day I made myself a promise: I would give Regina Mills her happy ending, even if it means I had to fight against the rest of the world.


	4. Letter D

**DEALING WITH THE LOOKS**

Everybody looked at me like I was some type of monster, including my son, and I should be used to this by now, but I wasn't. I was mad, but for once, I was made with someone who wasn't Snow. Yes, it was her who kissed me and said "I love Regina, I always did", but I wasn't angry at her. Throughout our entire relationship, she looked at me with love, compassion, sadness and yes, hate, but that was justified, after all, I took her baby away from her. Yes, she started all this madness, but it was the rest of the people who looked at me like I was the villain here, not her.

The reason I hated her, the real one, was different, but I always said it was just because of Daniel. Obviously, I lied. There was something more. I was mourning him, of course, and I was like my apple tree: trapped in a place where I was uninvited. I was the outcast, and apart from the feelings I was experiencing, like the sadness, the misery, the pain, the loneliness… there was something more. Sometimes, it was impossible for me to look her in the eye, because her eyes were just like his, and it was an illusion, but I saw in her green eyes the same looks: like I was nothing, like I deserved that, like…

The looks, our eyes are something more powerful than we think. There was a war inside of my mind: a part of me wanted to be completely different, to stay day and night in her arms, protected from the hate outside; but another part couldn't forget all those horrible nights, the cold, the suffering. It wasn't Snow's fault, after all, she was not the one raping me, but I made her the target, and I loathed myself for that. I didn't deserve her love, her care. I destroyed her life, her happiness. Now she had to deal with an angry husband and an angry daughter, I cared more than I wanted to admit. I wanted to love her fully, but the nightmares, the pain incrusted in my heart… that was impossible to erase. She needed someone able to worship her, and I wasn't capable of that, because I knew her more and before the rest, I knew her dark side, just like she knew mine.

"Hi, um… I'm Snow. Well, I… I just wanted to tell you that… I arranged everything with David and… well… I'm sleeping in my car, so if you want to see me or… so-something, maybe y-you could… meet me in the b-beach, it would be… nice, yes. Bye". The message ended up and I felt angry. Was she sleeping in that damn car? She was the princess! No, wait, THE QUEEN, SHE WAS THE QUEEN! I couldn't let her sleep in her car, so I texted her.

"Hello, I'm Regina, I'm gonna meet you at the beach and you're gonna come to me, you're gonna sleep with me and we'll find a way to fix this mess. You've never let me drown, it's my turn to save you now"

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 **Hii!, It's me, again! Thank you so so so so much for the support. Would you want me to do a cover for the story? How should it be?**


	5. Letter E

**EXPECTING THE WORST**

A few weeks passed by with a lot of significant changes. David and Snow decided that he would stay in the loft with Emma and Henry while Snow moved with Regina. They were trying hard to have a relationship, and they promised to each other they wouldn't lie, they wanted to be real, honest. Snow started to hang out with Ashley and Ruby again; after the Neverland return, they both left Snow alone, feeling betrayed; now, they were friends again. Regina was trying a friendship too, with Tink and Kathryn; and her nights with Snow were full of painful confessions which were totally necessary because of her nightmares. They were visiting Archie, they wanted this to work out with all of their hearts.

However, when Henry said he wanted to spend more time with her mother, both Snow and Regina were surprised. Regina didn't trust him; after all, he just yelled at her he hated her every time their paths crossed, and he despised Snow's company, and now, out of nowhere, he loved them both more than he loved Emma and he just wanted to stay with Regina.

The most childlike part of Snow was jealous, because Regina was trying to please very hard Henry, even if it meant she had to spend too much time with him; another part of her, told her she could not trust the boy. It all was so… weird. She knew Henry, he was as proud and stubborn as Regina was, and he would never make amends with the brunette so easily. She also suspected he wanted to spend time only with her and no one else because there was something going on.

But she never thought she would have to face that.

As she thought, there was something going on: Pan's shadow was around them, and it didn't matter Rumple's sacrifice, they couldn't escape Pan's curse. Here was only a way: Regina had to sacrifice.

Of course, when Emma and Henry left, Snow cried and tried to get rid of Neal, Hook and Charming trying to contain her. The pain only got worse when she saw how the woman she loved was basically killing herself only to save them.

They both were losing their children once again.

After what seemed like an eternity, they woke up tangled up together, both with long hair and royal clothes.

They did right expecting the worst, because now Snow and Regina were in the Enchanted Forest, and now they both were the queens of a ruined kingdom.

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I know this one is shitty, but exploring the angst feelings of both of them wasn't a drabble, so in the future, if y'all want me to, I'll write two other drabbles explaning Snow and Regina feelings in this scene. This is all now, tomorrow, thanks to all the marvelous and lovely reviews you left me, I'll upload two chapters. Bye!


	6. Letter F

**FLASHBACK**

 _I found myself licking her wound like it was the most precious thing in the world. Maybe it was because of the damn Neverland, but the way she commanded me, it made me shiver. Since she became a bandit, I felt attracted to the warrior inside herself. She was so princess, so "don't touch me, I don't want to break" and suddenly she was running away from me, but at the same time, defying me, facing me, fighting me. I always had that deep desire, like I wanted to be tamed, controlled. Of course, I'd never admit that, but the desire was there; just, I never felt confident enough with anyone to say "hey, tie me up, spank me, it's so cool". I never felt confident enough because I needed someone I could trust, someone I could tell "I don't feel comfortable, please stop" knowing he or she would stop._

 _It was completely different, not like… well, me, but the way she looked at me, that tiny moan she tried to hide, the feeling she was watching over me like she was some type of goddess and I was just a simple mortal made me feel that heat between my legs, a heat I haven't felt since… more than years. I honestly don't know when I started to like a dominant Snow, but maybe it was because, Snow and Mary Margaret, both of them, were filthy kind with everyone, and the idea of an angel sexually punishing a demon was… peculiar. I like peculiarity._

 _On those nights, where I closed my eyes and her hands were everywhere, touching me, pleasing me, I had to call Graham. And one day, I made the huge mistake of screaming her name; luckily, he was under my curse, so he didn't remember anything after that. But when she questioned how I was raising Henry, after she gave him that damn book, I just though how idiotic she was, how I wanted to fight her, to see that brave girl again. She would push me against something, whatever, and she'd put me in my place, and…_

 _STOP! I tried to sleep, but fantasies were coming to me, haunting me. I tried really hard but I couldn't. But why was I considering even being her slave? It's not like I trust her, right? I don't like her, I don't desire her… Yeah, Regina, keep telling yourself that, but you should admit you had your best orgasms thinking that it was the dumbest of them all who was biting your flesh instead of the huntsman._

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Sooooo, here it is! I'm reaaaaaaaally sorry I couldn't upload sooner, but I had a feeeew problem. Well, anyway, here it is, and as I promised, I will upload another chapter in mere minutes. Oh, and I will mention soon a "character" and for that, I made an edit I will post in my tumblr acc and the link I'll pass it later. Byyye ;)


	7. Letter G

**GOING UNDER, DEAR GIRLFRIEND**

After a week of standing by Snow's side when she greeted every prince and princess, I found a friend. I was going under, I truly was. Henry was so far away from me… I didn't even know if I would ever see him again.

Then, Neal and I started some type of friendship because we both missed Henry. It was nice to have someone to talk to apart from my girlfriend. Whoa, it was a… strange word. Girlfriend. Like I was a teenager again, like… with Daniel.

It took me a while to understand fully what happened, because everything happened so fast… One day I was happy with him and the next one I was celebrating a wedding that felt more like a funeral. I blamed Snow when I had to blame Leopold, Cora, probably Rumple and maybe even Henry. After all, I begged him to save me and he just turned his face. If I have to be sincere, I don't think my relationship with Snow would have been possible if I still blamed her.

That night we were in bed, she was brushing my hair in the gentlest way when I told her about my recent friendship with Rumple's son.

"You know, it's nice to have someone to talk to apart from you. I mean, honey, I love you, but I missed having a friend. He's not as stupid as I thought; I needed to give him a chance. It's nice to have someone who wants to hear me talking about my son 24/7" I laughed a bit, I was so lost in my own world I didn't realized she was getting angry. "I haven't felt this good in centuries"

"You both seemed to have a good relationship. But he looks a lot at your cleavage, doesn't him?" she said in a bitter tone I didn't notice.

"Yeah, Daniel did too. He looked at me with such bright eyes, but I was so dumb I never noticed" I said with a full smile. He would always have a special spot in my dark heart.

"And you both ended up about to marry" now she was truly angry. She pulled my hair hard and my head went back, I was staring at the ceiling, her grip hard as hell. It took me by surprise, I gasped.

"Yes. Are you jealous?" I smirked. Oh, how I loved her jealous side…

"You are mine" she whispered in my ear. Rage took over me. We were just friends, and maybe she thought I did not know, but I knew she was seeing David. Oh, of course she kept that secret.

"I know you're seeing David" I spat out.

"You're spying over me?" she looked surprised. How could she be surprised? She was not subtle; it was obvious she was hiding something!

"You were hiding something" I answered like it was the most common thing in the world. For god's sake, he was her husband! It was normal, wasn't it?

"We are Emma's parents, we needed someone able to understand us" she said guilty. I wasn't angry anymore, because I did the same with Neal. We both understood each other, but we also spent so much time together it was beginning to be suffocating; we needed friends.

"That's my point!" I exclaimed. "We both are happy, or at least we're trying to be happy together, but we can't be in a bubble, only you and I, because we're going to end up hating each other. Want to know something? When you were a child, you were always next to me, and sometimes it was nice to have someone caring so much about me, but some other times… I wanted you to go away, to just leave me. What I'm trying to say is, we don't need to be together all the time, maybe if we talk with someone else the pain… I don't know… change" I finished. Archie told us to talk about any issue we had, and I wanted to tell her about the way she treated me when she was child, I wanted to talk about that more than even. She was a daily reminder that I was trapped in a golden cage full of blades, and sometimes the good Regina didn't care because she loved her, but some other, the bad Regina went so upset it became unbearable.

She kissed my shoulder. "I'm sorry" she murmured.

"Don't worry, dog days are over" I said with a grin.

"It's like trying to close the door on a fire hoping to forget that the house is on fire, thinking that the fire is extinguished with stop looking" she said with a big smile. I just love her film references.

"We have a rocky relationship, snowflake, but we both are stubborn as hell, so if we try just a little, we'll make it alive" she kissed my shoulder again and then she bit it, leaving a mark, her mark. I was her, but maybe a little reminder was a good thing, wasn't it?

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Let's have this in mind, babies, this is like... like "next episode is gonna have seeeeeeex". You liked it? I wanted to show a bit more of Jealous!Snow and Regina having a friend XD. I know that Regina being okay with Snow and David seems a bit Ooc, but well, in my mind she trust Snow so much... and anyway, Regina knows something about Hook and CHarming, so she's not truly worried about Snowing ;))

Oh, and the link is: missidunnocare . tumblr post / 128732701249 / hello - so - as - far - as - i - know - there - is - a - version - of (without the spaces) pls read the description so you know who's the character


	8. Letter H

**HAPPY AT HOME**

All I could hear was Regina laughing and someone else giggling. The bedroom was full of light, the sun illuminating my precious queen who was playing with a little girl, not older than three. She was very skinny, with long, almost black, curls; she had dark skin a bit darker than Regina's, and those huge, blue eyes which looked at me when she heard the clicking of my heels. Her nose, her lips and the shape of her eyes reminded so much of my girlfriend it was confusing.

"Who's this little princess?" I said nicely, approaching them, but the girl just hid her face in my lover's cleavage, hugging her tightly.

"Regina" yelled the girl, her head hidden between the queen's boobs. Okay, this was interesting. I approached them and I kissed Regina briefly.

"I found her in the woods. Blue says she was an orphan back in Storybrooke, and that she's a witch. They consider her dangerous, so I said I would take care of her, she's alone and scared, and I don't want her to be sacrificed or something that horrible, so… Also, I've been asking her name, but she only says mine"

"Maybe she doesn't have one" I suggested.

"I've seen some ugly marks on her body while I was dressing her, she was abused recently. Maybe she doesn't like her name" the brunette sitting bay my side shrugged.

The little girl then looked at me with those crystal clear eyes, and I smiled sincerely. Regina had a soft spot for kids, especially hurt kids.

"Are we gonna adopt her?" I asked, a part of me hoping I could have a chance to be a mother again.

The girl left Regina and approached me. "My name is Snow" I said, and she smiled weakly. I liked her, and she liked me. An idea came to me.

"Do you want to adopt her? With me?" Regina said, eyes bright and wide smile.

"Regina Margaret Mills, do you like it, babe?" I asked the girl, and she nodded happy.

"Mills? What about your surname?" Regina said, mischievously sexy with that eyebrow up.

"I guess we'll have to get married, right? If we do thing, we do them in the right way" I said winking. Regina kissed me, fire burning between us. Little Regina brought us to reality.

"¿Mami?" she asked, and I looked at her surprised. Maybe she did have a name.

"Regina, she doesn't speak English, just Spanish" I was freaking out, but in the right way.

"I guess we'll have to teach her" she said, kissing my forehead, and starting to talk with the kid in Spanish. I remember she taught me a lot, but I forgot a good part.

Well, Regina being a teacher always turned me on. Now, she could be mine.


End file.
